We Remember

January 28.

Holocaust Memorial Day.

The day when we stop and really take note of our lives and where our problems don't seem all so bad anymore. 

The day that we recall the millions of precious Jewish lives that were horrifically taken from this world simply because they were Jews.

The day we remember.

I have walked the halls of the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C.

I have seen the graphic pictures, the pile of shoes that were collected before they were sent into the gas chamber, the look in the eyes of the men, women, and yes, even children moments before they're death. I have read the stories, quotes, and writings found carved on cellar walls. 

Those images are forever engraved in my mind and heart.

This was someone's reality.

I walked through replicas of the train cars they were transported in like livestock and even replicas of the gas chambers they were piled in while they thought it was a shower room instead.

I saw the very graphic life-like replica model of the step-by-step process. Though made of plastic and clay, seeing each step brought more tears. The mass arrival, a mix of men, women, and children. Standing in line for hours in the freezing cold as they were processed like animals. Being forced to remove all clothing, shoes, and wedding bands. Being filed into the very large room that had the appearance of showerheads covering the ceiling. It showed how they all crammed in as close as they could under the "showers", as they were led to believe that is exactly what it was.

By this point I was in full out sobs to the point where I was kneeling on the ground completely overwhelmed and overtaken with grief at the sight of these precious innocent people. The horrific reality they had to face was more than I could bear.

The hollow, lifeless eyes of the children stared back at me from the photographs on the wall.

These people were hated. Not because of anything they did, but because of who they were. 

Never Forget.

We are witnesses.

2015.

It happened so fast.

 
This was a roller coaster year for me full of all the feels. I loved and lost and loved again. I survived heartbreak many times and watched it slowly be put back together piece by piece. I discovered strength within myself I never knew I had. I learned what being a survivor was all about. It's not as fun as it would seem, however it is rewarding.

I became a warrior.

 
Defending and protecting my heart at all costs while building up high walls only allowing in those that ultimately proved themselves trustworthy. 

I lost friends.

Not in the usual sense, but more in redefining my own life and taking a step back to refocus and find where I truly need to be, thus learning that, to make a dollar, it is better to have 4 quarters than 100 pennies. 

I made memories this year that will be cherished and highly treasured in my heart for the rest of my life. Memories, experiences, and moments that captured my soul, took my breath away, and seemed as if time stood still. Ones that make you wish to go back and relive over and over. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. 

This year I faced some of the most difficult moments of my life as well as some of the very best, however, I am ready to close the book of 2015. 

I am unsure how to feel regarding the start of the new year. I have many mixed feelings. I am not the woman I was when I started this past year and I wonder what will happen in the next one and how different I will be on this day a year from now. There are many unanswered questions and possibilities and yet that is what comes with a blank, unwritten book.

Many people make their resolutions. Few stick with them. I, personally, have never been the type to make the "New Years list", however, there are a few things I would like to challenge myself for the year 2016 to create a healthier, happier, peaceful, meaningful, and more substantial lifestyle.

• Fall in love with Reading
• Rediscover Self-worth and Value
• Detox and Limit Social Media
• Spend more time Alone with God
• Make Exercise a Priority (walk/run)
• Refrain from Overthinking
• Debt-free and Financial Stability
• Focus on the Positives 

These are a few things that don't require much drastic change, but are certain to readjust and transform into a more positive and fulfilling life. 

I step into this new year, this blank 365 page book, with apprehension and uncertainty of what I am going to face. But, if my heart is in the right place and my mind is steadfast on Jesus, I know I will withstand the valleys and soar through the mountaintops for He makes me brave. I know I am not alone even when sometimes I feel completely and utterly lonely. 

I've always been the one to say "This is my year!", but I am a bit more realistic now and will just take it one day, week, month at a time. I will focus on each moment, for that is life. 

So here I am, 2016. 

It's a new beginning.

Let the adventure begin...