Why Me?

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

In an instant my mind went racing back thru time, uprooting memories of the nights when I spoke those exact words with much of the same emotion and heartbreak. I looked sadly across the table at a broken and tearful young woman struggling and grasping for answers to take away the pain she’s been prisoner of for so many years. So deeply I wished for the ability to take away the hurt and erase the past as I listened to a story of a young girl exposed to the horrors no child should have to endure. Her story matched mine on so many levels and in so many ways it astounded me.

 I knew her pain, frustration, and anger.

I’ve been there.

 I’ve spoken those words.

I understood.

She spoke of the struggle of forgiveness, anger, bitterness, and hatred. “I don’t want to forgive! I cant!” she cried. “I know”, was my response. It took her by surprise, as that was not the expected reply. “I know you cant. So let God do it for you. We are only human and don’t have the ability to truly forgive. Only God can forgive and forget. Our flesh will always remind us of those feelings. Anger and bitterness is something you will always have to fight.”. “But why me? Why did it have to happen? I know there’s a reason for things, but I don’t understand what it was for?” she said thru tears.

A story I had heard long ago came to my mind and, as I began to tell her the story, God started working on my heart in a way I didn’t realize until some time later.

 “There was a man who spent many afternoons at his grandmothers house as a child. His grandmother used to make quilts and had a large quilt rack that would stretch the quilt out in the room so she could work on it. He recalls the countless hours he spent playing under that quilt rack. Many times he’d look up at the underside of the quilt to see a tangled mess of thread and knots. It wasn’t pretty at all; in fact it was quite ugly. Many years later he again was at his grandmothers house and walked into the quilting room to find a masterpiece displayed. It was the same quilt she had been working on those years ago. You see his perspective had completely changed. Like the little boy, you are only able to see your life from underneath the quilt. It seems a mess and doesn’t make sense, but from above God is creating a masterpiece in you that is more beautiful that you can imagine. If you hadn’t gone thru those trials then part of that amazing picture would be missing colors. It would be like an unfinished puzzle. The things we go thru here may not make sense to us, but one day they will be explained and revealed as the most spectacular masterpiece of God’s creation.”

The comparisons to the views of the boy, the cries of this young woman, and my own life lessons took me by surprise. I had never looked at it quite like that before. I came to realize and see God’s handiwork in my own life. I realized that although some things may never be explained until Heaven, I’m witnessing one of them being explained this very moment. God had me go thru certain trials so that one day I would be sitting across from a struggling young woman and be able to help her cross that gulf that I had to cross years ago. We all have our strengths in different areas. God had given me the strength to cross years ago, but she wasn’t strong enough to make that crossing herself, so God placed me in her life at that moment to take her hand and make the jump.

Those haunting words have struck me so many times and for the first time today I was able to see just a little bit of the answer to that enormous two worded question. I was transported back in time to the seemingly endless nights of sobbing those words with no answer in sight. This young woman, though unaware, opened up a world of questions and helped shine some light on an area of my life that I thought would never be seen this side of eternity. I sat in awe and amazement of how God had intricately used and moved me to where I am now for such a time as this. Who am I that a God such as He would use me in such a way? As we parted ways that afternoon I sat in my car for a bit, humbled and blown away at the revelation God allowed me to glimpse.

There is a reason for everything in life.

Nothing goes unnoticed by God.

The trials in life may seem astronomical and without reason. That is when God is adding a few glorious, colorful touches to your masterpiece. One day it will all be revealed and the question “Why me?” will finally be answered. The past was made to be a testimony for the future and that testimony can help change lives. As with any other lesson, life lessons come with tests. Like gold put in a fire, we will come out more beautiful and pure. God sets our paths to cross those who we can help in a way, which only we are able. It’s times like those, and like mine today, that will give us a glimpse of the answer to the question we have asked so many times. Why me?

Three steps to Perspective

While driving one day, I took a moment to really notice my surroundings and the scenery around me. The sky was blue with scattered clouds, the sun making its way through the thick forest lining the road, the sign of winter snow fading away into spring. As I passed a gap in the woods where it burst forth into hills and plains a small object caught my eye. After a second glance I was able to make out a partially crumbled set of three very old porch steps made of either concrete or stone. They, however long ago they were used, were still standing as tall and strong as they could as if leading to a now non-existing porch or doorway. There was no house, foundation, chimney remains, or fence in sight, however those three steps continued to stand as if they were still fulfilling their duty, albeit crumbling with age. I couldn’t get them out of my mind as I continued on down the road. My mind began to wander as I considered the possible beginning of those meager steps. It must have been a very long time ago as the trees in and around them were quite large and thick, along with the massive amount of brush surrounding the area. Many years ago, before my time, there’s a good chance this was a woman’s dream home, a hardworking man’s proud creation to support his new wife and upcoming family, a little girl’s comfort and safe haven, a young man’s inspiration to make something of himself, a humble elderly couple’s cozy home full of laughing grandchildren during the holidays, a refuge for those in need, and the list goes on. So many possibilities, so many memories. Oh, if those crumbled yet determined stairs could speak of the history of the house that once stood. Everything has a story to tell. There is history everywhere. Someone’s whole life and hard work remains in the form of three steps still standing tall after all these years. It made me take a step back and think of all the effort and emotion I put in to the most trivial things. Does it really mean that much? Is it really worth the time spent stressing and agonizing over? Will it really matter ten or even two years from now? Those three steps gave me a new perspective and outlook on life.

“Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”  James 4:14 KJV

 “Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passeth away.” Psalms 144:4 KJV

Although three meager steps are all that remains of what was once someone’s whole world, we can still learn something without ever needing to know the history. Life is short, Time is precious, Love is strong, Faith is eternal, and what you do with those precious gifts God has so richly blessed you with is something only you can decide. What are you leaving behind?  What are you doing with your life? How are you spending your time? For one day it will be like those three small steps. Will you be crumbled and forgotten alone in the woods along a highway or will you be a monument that will forever be etched in the lives of those you’ve touched? It’s amazing how someone’s entire life, hard work, laughter, love, blood, sweat, and tears who had a place in history, known or unknown, can all come down to three steps still standing alone in the woods. Although I will never know the lives, stories, or history of the house that once stood, I will always remember those three steps that helped give me perspective in the midst of a busy world.

A Different Point of View

I was created by an all powerful, all perfect God. 

I am one of His angels.

Created to worship and praise Him, I have been given the ultimate honor of spending eternity in His presence being witness to His awesome power and glory. I watched as He was conceived by the Holy Ghost in the womb of a young virgin girl named Mary. The process of His conception, the forming of His now human features, and the miraculous birth was an unforgettable moment full of awe and erupting shouts of praise as we all witnessed Almighty God’s plan unfold before us. I closely observed His journey thru life on Earth as He grew from infant to adulthood and performed wonders and miracles that blew the minds of humans world wide. How they couldn’t see what was standing before them I can’t understand. They witnessed first hand the marvelous and perfect actions of a Holy God and yet they still had doubts. 

Then they did the unthinkable. 

The way they tortured my Creator was far beyond comprehension. I had to watch as they beat Him, mocked Him, spat in His beautiful face, and the horrible thorns they crushed into His head was almost more than I could take. I was horrified to watch them mocking His glorious name and the way they scorned and blasphemed Him. Then as if that wasn’t enough, the long and torturous journey to that horrible hill where they stripped Him of His earthly clothes and nailed my Lord and my God to a cruel and rugged cross, lifting Him up for the world to see as though He was a common criminal. I was helpless to save Him. I wanted with all of my being to destroy those who even looked on my Lord with contempt.

 I was there.

 I was ready.

 In myself I screamed for Him to allow me to help Him. That was my God hanging on that tree and yet they didn’t seem to care. I then stood there in amazement and sheer awe as Jehovah lifted Himself up for the last time and spoke with such power and love that pierced the hearts of those standing by with the incredible words, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”. 

I was speechless. 

After all that was just done to Him, and not just those standing there, but the entire human race, as it was all of creation’s sins that killed The King of Glory, He still lifted His eyes in love and great mercy to plead for the forgiveness of the deeds done unto Him. Such amazing grace and love has never since been displayed or even come close to comparison. 

I now look at the world today and once again watch as humans reject, blaspheme, and mock The King of Kings. What I still can’t understand is how the Believers many times will just stand there and say nothing. Don’t they realize what He went through for them? He suffered, bled, and died for the sins they commit against Him every day, yet it doesn’t seem to bother or even faze them. They have such an incredible opportunity to show the love, power, and gospel of Almighty God to the world and yet they ignore those divine appointments God puts in their path. They seem to care more about their image and the things of the world then of the reality of God’s perfect Salvation.

 Oh, if they could only see things from my perspective they would see the foolishness of their actions and the wasted time they’ve allowed. They’d see how they continually let God down and break His heart with every time they ignore the Holy Spirit conviction and sin against Him daily. Don’t they see how much they are loved by the One who gave them breath? Can’t they see the mercy and grace He so freely bestows upon them each moment their actions deny Him? Or have they taken Him for granted? If they could see what I see, how different I truly believe they would be.

Coffee with Jesus

There's a small coffee shop down on Main Street and every day, at the same time each day, Jesus comes in, sits down at the same table and the waitress brings him coffee. Every day he sits there waiting. When it comes closing time He pays the bill, thanks them, and leaves only to show up again at the very same time the next day. The waitress finally asks "Sir are you waiting for someone?". "Yes", He replies,"I'm waiting for {put your name here}. They know I'm here and I know they'll show up sometime". This goes on day after day, month after month. The waitress, feeling sorry for the poor man who's been stood up every day, trying to comfort him says, "Maybe your friend will come today!". "I hope so!", Jesus replies with excitement on His face. But alas, no one arrives and once again He pays the bill, thanks the waitress, and leaves. You see the person He's been waiting on seems to have so much other things going on that they don't have the time to meet Him at the shop. They're so busy with other things that they consistantly neglect to keep the most important appointment in their daily schedule. What things are in your life that is keeping you from meeting with your Lord? How long have you made Him wait only to not show?

An Incredible Woman Without A Name

Judges 11:30-40

What an incredible story of faith, love, submission, and full obedience to God.

Many don't know this woman existed, yet God set apart 10 verses in the Bible to tell her incredible story of faith. This woman displayed such a love for God and feared the Lord to an extent that is very rare and we don't even know her name. All we know her by is: Jephthah's Daughter.

Jephthah found himself facing the Ammonites in war and before going out to fight them he prayed asking for help. He asked that if God would give him the victory in this battle he would vow to give whatever came out to meet him when he got home to the Lord as a burnt sacrifice. I'm sure he was referring to an animal, but after the war was over and the victory was won he arrived home to face the shock and horror of his life. Instead of a pet coming out to meet him...his only child, his precious daughter and baby girl came out to greet her beloved father and rejoice in his victory. He was horrified, rent his clothes, and cried.

"...I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back."

Can you imagine this woman's reaction? But the way she responded to that horrible news floored me. She understood and agreed on the importance of vows and keeping your word. She knew very well what must be done and told her dad that he must keep his vow to God. She asked for only two months to go into the mountains with her loyal and supportive friends before her father fulfilled his vow. He agreed and let her go. Now if I was her I'd have probably booked it out of there and never come back knowing what was waiting for me, however, after two months she kept her word and she bravely came home, still a virgin, and pure before the Lord. Her father then kept his promise to God and she allowed herself to be given for him to the Lord as a burnt sacrifice. Her display of faith, her fear of the Lord, and obedience to her father is incredible. She loved her father so much.

I've never read the story of Jephthah's daughter with such real feeling as I have now. This really happened. This woman really lived and had to go through this. When you read between the lines and really let your imagination try to experience the emotions and real life situations you will find how much you can learn from their lives. This innocent, pure, God fearing young woman made such an impact in my life as to the importance of loving God more than self and family. What a remarkable young woman and we don't even know her name...  

A Woman and a Choice

Many know the beautiful love story of Ruth & Boaz, but have you ever gone all the way back to the very beginning and realized where she came from and what she had to go through? Right from the very beginning of the Book of Ruth the first verse says:

"Now it came to pass in the days of when the judges ruled..."

In the book of Judges we see it mentioned continuously that they "did evil in the sight of the Lord" referring to God's people. Ruth was from Moab, a much more wicked place. She came from a very different environment than Naomi and grew up never knowing about Jehovah. After marrying into a strange Jewish family and from the witness and testimony of her mother-in-law she learned about God and faith.

Now lets jump ahead 10 years. She still hasn't been able to have a baby when suddenly her husband and true love dies. Devastated, She turns to her mother-in-law only to see that Naomi, now a widow with no living children, is moving back to her homeland. Naomi, seeing her selfishness, begs her daughters-in-law to return to their families where they belong, but Ruth refused. She had a huge choice in front of her. Go back to where she came from or step out in faith and follow God. Her choice would change her life forever.

Many couples have quoted her next words in their personal vows to each other at the marriage altar. As a true picture of loyalty, passion, faith, love, and devotion she changed her future with these words...

"...for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and they God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me."

Such faith and love proved to Naomi that Ruth would not turn and go back to her old ways and life. She chose the life of an outsider in a strange land to be with the only godly witness and testimony she'd ever known.

Her life in Judah wasn't always easy as she had to work hard to feed both her and Naomi, but God didn't allow her sacrificial testimony to go unheard. Word of her devotion, love, and faith spread throughout the city and got back to a certain gentleman named, Boaz, who fell in love with her from afar. Little did he know her feelings for him were growing just as much, yet she knew that such a well esteemed man wouldn't consider a lowly widow from Moab. However, God's ways are not our ways and with yet another leap of faith she stepped out into the unknown and discovered honor, compassion, and true love.

"...for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman."

What a title! She went from the wicked city of Moab where she was raised to be well versed in the false teachings of idols and such to being known as a virtuous woman in a strange land. One of the highest honors to give to a woman was bestowed on her testimony throughout the city. Boaz was a true gentleman and did what every honorable man would do. He fought for her. He wouldn't rest until she was all his. She was a precious jewel that he would cherish and treasure for the rest of his life.

God directed Ruth's steps and rewarded her faithfulness. She was not only blessed with a loving and godly husband, but she was also given a son and from that lineage came Jesus. And to think...none of this would have been possible had she not made that choice so long ago. What choice will you make? Will you be the one to turn back to the old ways or will you dare to step out into the unknown and trust God? The choice is yours. Choose wisely!