Friday, February 21, 2020

The beginnings of my journey with Hypothyroidism

Over the past 2yrs I have noticed serious physical changes in myself with the only lifestyle change being my employment. I attributed that these issues to the high stress job that was literally affecting my health and wellbeing. Stress is a pretty big factor in physical changes and issues, but I changed significantly in just a span of 2yrs. More than what stress could’ve necessarily caused. During this time, I determined to combat these sudden issues and worked hard to improve, but with no results comes discouragement and motivation crash which then brought on more issues involving emotional struggles and a negative mental outlook on life and how I viewed myself.

Jump forward to January 1, 2020.

This is my year! This is when I make my comeback! That high stress job is gone forever. For the first time in a long time, life is actually pretty great and I am happy. This is it! Let’s go! So I began to take drastic steps once again.

1) I ditched coffee and have been water only
2) I cook ALL my meals (each being UNDER 500 calories) and don’t eat anything processed or pre-made 3) I exercise much more with Barre workouts and utilize the rowing machine and equipment I own every morning before work
4) I did a colon cleanse and
5) I completed a 7day Cabbage Soup diet (basically a starvation diet that is supposed to get fast results and kick start your metabolism)

NOTHING WORKED.

Absolutely ZERO results from ALL of that effort and work.
The number on that blasted scale never changed. The size of my clothes never changed. No increased energy. No improved restful nights where I wake up refreshed. No changes to feeling tired on a constant basis. It was as if I hadn’t done a single thing different.

To say I was discouraged and frustrated would be a gross understatement. I was beyond upset and couldn’t understand why I didn’t get even the slightest hint of change in 2 months. Any normal human no matter their weight and size would’ve seen SOMETHING after all of that! So, I decided it was time to look a little deeper into the medical side of things because clearly something is wrong.

The visit to my doctor was almost unbelievable had I not physically experienced it myself. The moment I told her I was concerned with the fact that I can’t seem to get any results with my weight loss journey and simply feeling healthier in all aspects of my life, as well as explaining in detail everything I've done so far, she *no joke* checked out. If "rolling your eyes" was a facial expression without the actual act, she nailed it! The words “you’re obviously not doing enough cardio”, “you probably need to eat more”, and (my favorite) “that’s probably just how you’re built and you’re just going to have to accept that this is who you are” was literally spoken in the 10min I sat there. In fact, she talked more about herself (her size 0, stiletto wearing, self) than giving any attention to the very reason I was even there. I had to basically force her to prescribe me a blood panel as I wasn’t leaving without one and she made sure to brush it off with a “it probably won’t do anything. You just need more cardio” before leaving the room.

The next morning, after fasting for 12hours in preparation, I went for blood work. I was told it would be 72hrs before results. No big deal. At this point I was becoming increasingly more stressed and worried about what they might find. Could it be serious? A tumor? Would it be fixable? Life altering? Our minds always go nuts with worst case scenarios in situations like this.

Jump to yesterday, Feb. 20, 2020.

Just over 24hrs later, I receive a call. Now, as if the actually appointment itself wasn’t bad enough, this call was the cherry on top. It went like this, “so your levels are high. It’s pretty bad. You need to get on this medication immediately and come back in 6 weeks for more blood work. It’s ready at your pharmacy so start taking it in the morning. Have a good day.”

Hold up!! What now?!

I manage to catch her before she hangs up and ask “um excuse me…what is wrong with me?” Her response, “your thyroid. It’s pretty bad. Start the medication tomorrow morning.”

That was it. Clearly I wasn't getting any more information on the subject. I hung up stunned. There I was, sitting in the Target parking lot, not exactly sure what just happened or what this means for me long term.

I’m 32yrs old. What do you mean my thyroid is bad? What does that even mean? Is this serious? How bad is "pretty bad"? Will it get better? How does this affect my life?

I drive to the pharmacy and get there just as it was closing. They let me in and locked the door behind me. As I stood there with tears in my eyes and still in shock and confusion, I look at her as she hands me the bag and quietly say “can I ask you a question?” God planned for that caring lady to be my pharmacist at that moment. She stopped everything and gave me her full attention with the most kind eyes. I asked “what is this and what does this mean for me? I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.” Her eyes went sad and she reached out to me and calmly explained, so I could understand, that my thyroid is no longer working and what this medication is meant to do. She explained hypothyroidism and how that will affect me. I needed her kindness. Where she could’ve very easily brushed me off and told me to go talk to my doctor, she took the time to help me understand.

So there it is. My week in a nutshell. And it’s not even over yet. *yikes*

There really isn’t a “moral” to this story beside the cliché warning to get checked if things aren’t “adding up”. Even if your doctor doesn't think so - get checked anyway. I have talked to this doctor over the past several years and mentioned the changes I was experiencing and not once did she suggest I get checked or try to "rule things out".

I’m now researching hypothyroidism and what I can do about it, as I certainly don’t want to be on a pill for the rest of my life just to function like a normal human if I can help it, altho with my current levels and the fact that it's gone untreated, I may not have much choice. I am, also, def looking for a new doctor. One that actually gives a crap about my health and genuinely cares when giving life changing news like “oh by the way your thyroid crashed”.

Upon further research, I have discovered that I lined up with every symptom for this condition over the last two years that I blamed on the significant increase of stress in both the working world and in my personal life. While those had a big factor in this, I was unknowingly going untreated for an actual condition to where my levels are now quite high and could cause other issues. So many physical changes and symptoms I have been living with over the past couple years now makes so much sense and could have been controlled had I known.

This will be something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life, but it is treatable and for that I am thankful. I am also thankful it isn't as life altering as it could have been. I am not limited in what my capabilities are in any aspect. This is simply a glitch in my otherwise healthy system and I am looking forward to finally feeling and functioning normally again with the help and aid of this medication and hopefully some natural aid in the near future.

There has been some good that’s come out of my weight loss/healthy living effort in 2020. I discovered a love for cooking that I never knew I had. I cook every day and I’m actually pretty freakin amazing at it! Who knew, right? So, if nothing else, I’ve found something I genuinely enjoy doing and am good at that is healthy and has saved money! *bonus*

Always find the positive in every situation! It helps <3  

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